Hey, main stream mess media; I’m going to burn my press card

I figure a headline like the one above should have Fox, CNN, MSNBC, NBC, ABC, CBS and maybe even Geraldo knocking on my door in minutes , for the scoop of a lifetime.  I mean, it worked for that nutcase Florida pastor Terry Jones from the Dove Outreach Church. (What does that mean anyway? Are they all running around catching doves? Call PETA quick).
Anyway, when Jones decided he needed his 15 minutes of fame he grabbed a few Qurans (Muslim holy books) and said he was going to burn them on 9/11. And bingo, the guy was a made-for-TV evangelist.  One day you are a nobody with next to nobody in your cult/church and the next day you are a force to be reckoned with thanks to our main stream  mess media that is having a slow news day, or week or just sitting around with their laptops waiting for the next big non-scoop.

This would be comical if it wasn’t so sad. Can you imagine a real pro newsman like Walter Cronkite, in the face of this nutcase pastor, even giving him the time of day? I mean, this is less important that Paris Hilton thinking that the crack cocaine that fell out of her purse was chewing gum. This is even less important than anything Jon Gosselin ever did, said or wore.  This is more embarrassing than Geraldo Rivera’s opening up that vault years ago on National TV and finding NOTHING. This is more embarrassing than Glenn Beck crying and Sarah Palin whining.

Our enlightened media literally turned a nothing pastor and his idiotic tiny tribe of kool-aid, loser followers into a national comment frenzy as anyone who is running for anything, that could even remotely be construed as political  had to have their voice heard on this “issue”. It’s as if the “balloon boy madness” won’t go away.  The press is so easily duped that it bleeds a non-story until the President of The United States has to get involved.  And I’m pretty sure he should be focusing his attention on the economy, the war,  jobs,  greedy banks, slime-ball insurance companies and well-real issues.

So, I have decided that as a writer that regularly does freelance writing for AOL websites among others, I am up to spreading my wings, as it were. I’ve figured out that If I burn something they (the main stream mess media)  will come and I will become famous just long enough to nab a book publisher or write an article for Oprah magazine.  Since today, September 11, is “No News is Good News Day” I have decided to burn my old press card, which is sure to incite an international something-or-other.  Or, at the very least get me on a talk show.


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